Nurse Grunt
by Hazuzu
Summary: Alola's Pokemon Centers are in need of fresh hands. Who would be a better Nurse Joy than a former Team Skull grunt?
1. Chapter 1

"Yo! I'm, like, super responsible! Hire me!"

Those were the first words Nurse Joy heard from the applicant. She was a scrawny young thing with twitchy fingers and hair that resembled a Pikipek nest. She looked utterly out of place in the sterile backroom of the Pokemon Center, like every atom of disorder had concentrated on one point and formed a personality. Even her clothes were disheveled, with obvious tears where she'd pulled off the Team Skull markings.

"We're not going to be hiring anyone today," Nurse Joy said levelly. And it was even truer than she expected; she'd cleared her schedule for a day of interviews and nobody had turned up.

Nobody except the particularly punky girl in front of her.

"That? You crazy or somethin'?" The girl shoved a hand down her top.

"Oh my." Nurse Joy looked away.

"Look!" The girl held out the freshly-retrieved job leaflet and pointed a chipped nail at the bottom. "Now hiring! You can't just put that there and then say you're not hiring! That's future hiring, not now hiring."

"Did you take that off of the board?" Nurse Joy asked.

"Yeah, so what? You can't arrest me for that! It's public property!"

"I wasn't… I wasn't planning on arresting you." Nurse Joy cleared her throat and adjusted the little clipboard on her lap. "Let's begin, shall we? What is your name?"

"Grunt."

Nurse Joy almost started writing it.

"Your name is… Grunt?" Nurse Joy glanced up at the girl, who'd planted her foot on the side of her seat.

"Yep. You gotta problem with that?" There was a menacing tilt to Grunt's head. That's what Nurse Joy imagined the intention was, anyway.

"It's an unusual name. Do you perhaps know its origin?"

"Big Sis Plumeria calls me Grunt, so I'm Grunt. Deal with it, old lady."

"Old?" Nurse Joy gasped. "I'm…" She gripped her clipboard. No, she couldn't get angry with what was obviously a poorly-influenced teenager. "Grunt it shall be. Do you have any experience with nursing, Grunt?" Her pen hovered over the negative box.

"Totes."

"Can you elaborate, please?" Nurse Joy flashed her most winning smile.

"Nah." Grunt flicked her hand dismissively.

"Grunt," Nurse Joy had to force herself to say that much. "If you don't tell me where you got nursing experience from, I can't write down that you have any."

"What, so you don't trust me?" Grunt leaned back in her chair, her face a picture of offense. "You're just like my mom! I can do whatever I want! I'm a legit nurse, yo!"

"What I think doesn't matter." Nurse Joy sighed. "What matters is what I can write on my clipboard, so I can see if you're fit for the job. This part is particularly important for knowing whether you'll get the job or not." That would be nice, she thought to herself. They could cut the whole interview short and she could go back to… Waiting for people to interview.

"Tch. Fine." Grunt shrugged. "I guess I helped with the nursing in Po Town."

"And was this before or after Team Skull took over?" Nurse Joy asked delicately. It wouldn't do to make Grunt act even more of a delinquent.

"After, duh. Team Skull for li-" Grunt caught herself. "It was after! And I learned how to push all the buttons and spraying potions and all that crap? That was Grunt. And that's me." She jabbed a thumb at her chest. "I even helped the Champ out with the good heals."

"The Champion?" Nurse Joy leaned back in her chair, her eyes wide. "You helped her while she was clearing Team Skull out of Po Town?"

"You bet!" Grunt grinned.

"Why would you help someone who was attacking all of your friends?"

"Wh… Uh..." Grunt stared off at something as she considered the question. "Shut up! I needed the money, okay?! And we couldn't just beat her up, so it was clever, actually!"

"Of course it was." Nurse Joy sighed. "So you know how to operate the machines and navigate the inventory. That's something." She bit her bottom lip as she wrote down the information. "Are you a Pokemon Trainer yourself?"

"Tch, yeah!" Grunt nodded. "I mean, not right now." She held out her arm, which had a few light scars all along the forearm. "I got all these from my first Pokemon, and they ran away, but whatever! I don't need them! And then I stole some, and they bit me, too." She lifted the bottom of her tank top, which wasn't really necessary to see the scars on her stomach. "And I had to give those back after the boss gave up on us."

"I'm just going to write no," Nurse Joy said.

"Whatever." Grunt shrugged.

"What makes you want to be a Nurse Joy?" Nurse Joy asked.

"I wanna get money." Grunt held up her hand and started counting with her fingers. "I wanna get some new clothes, 'cause my bellybutton keeps getting cold. I wanna get those free drinks from the cafe. I wanna place to sleep-"

"We don't provide beds in the Pokecenter." Nurse Joy said, a skeptical eye fixed on Grunt.

"It's cool. I'll sleep in this room." Grunt shrugged. "Where was I? Oh, I wanna get paid, too. Do I get paid more if I fix a lot of Pokemon?"

"… No."

"Well, whatever. That's the list."

"I see." Nurse Joy filled out the last of her form. "Well. I think that's all we need to know from you, Grunt. It's been a pleasure interviewing you today," she lied. "Are there any questions you'd like to ask me?"

"Yeah, actually." Grunt got to her feet. "Does the nurse outfit come with underwear?"

"I…" Nurse Joy shook her head. "No. You'll have to provide your own underwear."

Grunt hesitated. "… Right now? 'Cause I'm kinda using th-"

"Have a nice day." Nurse Joy hurried to the door and unveiled the warm Alolan air.

"Cool." Grunt nodded as she strode out. "See ya later!"

Nurse Joy immediately closed the door. Surely there'd be at least one more applicant today…


	2. Chapter 2

"This… No, this can't be real." Nurse Joy re-read the message a half-dozen times and she still couldn't pick her jaw up. No amount of pinching could wake her from this nightmare.

It was a simple message about the hiring process. Her superiors had reviewed the candidates, all one of them, and came to a conclusion about who would become a brand new Nurse Joy under her tutelage.

The name at the bottom of the message read: Grunt.

Nurse Joy busied herself with preparing the backroom for Grunt's initiation. She brought out some little snacks from the cafe because she knew Grunt would be hungry when she showed up. She prepared a uniform for her to put on, so she wouldn't be waltzing around in rags all day. She even prepared some custom notes, so that Grunt wouldn't have to delve into the more detailed instructions on her first day.

And still, she was unprepared for Grunt's arrival.

"Yo! I'm here for work!" Grunt announced as she burst through the door.

"Good morning, Grunt." Nurse Joy rose to her feet. "Please, remember to use your indoor voice when in the Pokecenter. There are often children and injured Pokemon around who may not appreciate the extra distre-"

"Sweet! I've been waitin' for some grub," Grunt said, as she marched up to the table Nurse Joy had prepared and grabbed a handful of malasada. "Oh yeah." Her words struggled to get through the barrier of fried dough. "That's the good stuff!"

"Quite." Nurse Joy forced a smile as she watched Grunt finish off the malasada. It weakened a little when she grabbed another, then another. She was wielding one in each hand and taking bites out of each. "Hungry, are we?"

"Yeah!" Grunt announced and sent a small shower of crumbs flying out of her mouth. They collided with Nurse Joy's pristine pink uniform. "Oh crap, lemme get that."

"That's not necessary, I-" Nurse Joy found herself speechless as Grunt wiped a hand across her uniform and licked said hand clean of crumbs. "… Perhaps we'd better see fit to getting you changed before we begin. Finish off your meal, then step behind the curtain over there to change into your uniform." She pointed a finger to the small changing area she'd prepared.

"Yeah, sure." Grunt shoved both malasadas into her mouth and made her cheeks puff out. She marched off to the curtain area, wiping her hands off on her tank top as she went, and Nurse Joy busied herself with the instructions she'd prepared. The tank top was going to be washed regardless, so what did it matter if Grunt had no sense of hygiene or cleanliness? It certainly didn't matter in the field of medicine.

As long as Nurse Joy could keep lying to herself like that, Grunt's tutelage would pass by like a spring breeze.

"Yo! What's the deal?!" Grunt's bark yanked Nurse Joy out of her happy place. She peered around the corner of the curtain. "There ain't a wig in sight!"

"Nurse Joys never wear wigs." Nurse Joy tugged gently on one of her hair loops to demonstrate this fact. "And we never will. I thought that since your hair is pink already, you could simply style it yourself."

"Yeah, uh, I don't know how to do that." Grunt stared at Nurse Joy.

Nurse Joy stared back.

"… I'm not askin' for help," Grunt said.

"Oh." Nurse Joy shook her head. "Are you going to learn it yourself?"

"Help's for losers!" Grunt suddenly yelled as she stepped out from behind the curtain clad in most of a Nurse Joy uniform. Most, in that she hadn't put on the sandals and she'd kept the little band around her thigh. "And my hair's fine the way it is anyway!"

Nurse Joy stared at the absolute mess that was Grunt's hair.

"Well, you're going to have to if you want to work at this Pokecenter. The sense of familiarity our uniforms bring is very comforting to new Trainers," Nurse Joy explained.

"I said I don't want any help, yo!"

"I wasn't offering an-"

"None!"

"I kn-"

"Don't help!"

Nurse Joy narrowed her eyes at the young woman, whose lips were already poised to yell a rebuttal.

"I'm… Going to do your hair for you," Nurse Joy said softly.

"Fine, if you're gonna nag me about it." Grunt stormed over to the table, swiveled the nearest seat, and sat on it with her legs around the back. "Be careful with the merchandise, ya hear?"

"Certainly." Nurse Joy went to the medical supplies to retrieve her Pokemon grooming tools. Grunt wasn't exactly a Pokemon (They tended to have a better sense of decorum), but they'd serve until she could learn to style her own damned hair. She hadn't brushed Grunt's hair for a second before a blood-curdling screech came pouring from the girl's lungs.

"Yo! What's that for, huh? Ya tryin' to take off my scalp or somethin'?" Grunt did her best to glare back at Nurse Joy, but she didn't have much mobility with her hair tangled in a brush. "Old bag tryin' to make me look ugly so you can get all the cuties?"

"I… No, I'm brushing your hair," Nurse Joy explained. Just for that comment, she decided not to be very careful with the next stroke. "You're going to have to start doing this yourself," she explained, as Grunt's legs flailed to the tune of untangling hair. "And then it won't be quite so dreadful. Do you understand?"

"No!" Grunt cried.

Nurse Joy decided to ignore the stream of complaints, and the handful of curses, that followed. Before long, Grunt stopped acting like she was being murdered and sat perfectly still as her hair was pulled back, then set into the shape of two perfect pink rings. It was a little short, but that could be fixed with time.

"What do you think?" Nurse Joy asked as she presented a mirror to Grunt.

"Tch. Whatever. It's fine, I guess." Despite her words, there was a little pink in Grunt's cheeks as she looked herself over. "Hey, when do I get the stuffing?"

"Stuffing?" Nurse Joy packed away the grooming kit.

"Yeah, y'know, for your chest? There's no way yours still look like that at your age."

"… Let's move on to nurse etiquette."


	3. Chapter 3

Nurse Joy sat across from Grunt. She pulled a seat out for each of them and set the food aside, lest she get another chestful of crumbs from the now-mildly-presentable girl.

"The first thing we need to discuss is greetings," Nurse Joy explained. "They're people's first impression of you, of the Pokecenter, and they need to feel comfortable or they might not be willing to trust you with their Pokemon." She failed to ignore Grunt sticking a pinky finger in her own ear. "Let's start with something simple. A Trainer walks in and approaches you. How do you greet them?"

"Yo!" Grunt threw her arms out to her side and puffed out her chest. "This here's the Pokemon Center! Gimme your Pokemon!"

"... No." Nurse Joy shook her head.

"What's wrong with that?!"

"Oh, so many things," Nurse Joy said. "Yo is not an appropriate term of greeting. We prefer to say good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, depending on the time of day. Telling them that they're at the Pokemon Center is not helpful, but welcoming them is. Finally, you cannot demand someone give you their Pokemon, because that can be seen as threatening. Especially at that volume."

Grunt let out a groan like she'd just been hit by a Hypno.

"That's too hard! How am I meant to remember that crap?"

"Just... Remember the exact words, as I tell you." Nurse Joy cleared her throat. "Good morning! Welcome to the Pokemon Center. Would you like to rest your Pokemon?"

"What?" Grunt furrowed her brow. "I'm here for my training, you stupid idiot!"

"Grunt." Nurse Joy raised her hand and just barely restrained herself from pointing a finger at the newcomer. Such admonishment would not be fitting on her first day. "Repeat after me. Good morning! Welcome to the Pokemon Center. Would you like to rest your Pokemon?"

"Good morning, yo! Welcome to the Pokemon Center, this here's the real deal! Wanna rest your Pokemon or what?" Grunt repeated, with a few wild hand gestures for good measure.

"That's not what I said," Nurse Joy pointed out.

"Tch. Sounded the same to me." Grunt folded her arms over her chest and glared at the corner of the room.

"And what were those arm movements you were doing?" Nurse Joy asked. "I'm afraid any vulgar gestures will not be allowed, especially considering the number of children that spend time in Pokecenters."

"Yo! You callin' me dirty?!" Grunt stood up, knocking her chair over in the process. "My moves are pure, like a crisp spring morning! I ain't never done nothin' vulgar in my life! I don't even know what that word means!"

"Sit down, Grunt." Nurse Joy decided not to bring up that Grunt had already made two lewd comments to her in the short time they'd known each other. "If you promise to me that they're appropriate, I will allow them."

"Y'all know I'm family-friendly!" Grunt kicked her chair to flip it right side up. It skittered across the floor. She glanced at the chair, then at Nurse Joy, then hurried over to pick it up and set it down properly.

"But, I will be docking your pay if I get even a single complaint about them." Nurse Joy watched Grunt's eyes flicker in temporary panic.

"Maybe I'll take out a couple," Grunt said. "But that's just 'cause I'm worried about cramps, yo! Tendinitis is a real problem!"

"Really? I had no idea." Nurse Joy deadpanned. "We'll cover the resting protocol when we get to handling the machinery. Now, how would you say goodbye to a guest?"

"Tch! I don't even care if you go," Grunt replied.

"No. You say: We hope to see you again!"

"... Why're you smiling when you say things like that?" Grunt leaned forward with her eyes narrowed. "It's super suspicious, yo."

"Do I smile?" Nurse Joy touched a finger to her lip, where the last remnants of a smile were fading. "I suppose because it's friendly. Everyone likes to see a smile, especially when they feel they can't themselves. Do you think you can manage one?"

"Duh! What kinda idiot can't even smile?" Grunt forced a smile. It covered just about all of her face and showed all of her pearly whites. "See?" She didn't stop smiling as she spoke. "Bet ya you can't smile as big as this!"

"It's not a competition, Grunt." Nurse Joy stared at the girl, who just kept smiling. A few seconds of silence passed and she was still doing it. "Stop that."

"Why? You said smiling's good!" Grunt did her best to stretch her smile wider, but it just made her lips tremble. Somehow, that didn't make it any less disturbing.

"The goal is to put people at ease, not to fill their nights with fear." That, at least, got Grunt to stop smiling. "Now, what are you to do when there are no guests in the Pokemon Center?"

"I dunno." Grunt shrugged. "Me and the other Grunts used to just start painting stuff or stealing berries and crap. Or squats!" She hiked her leg into the air. "See these muscles? I can crush a carton of milk with these things!"

"Grunt, please don't do that." Nurse Joy averted her eyes. "You're not wearing shorts anymore."

"What?" Grunt looked down at her dress and hurriedly put her legs down. "You pervert! You can't just look up a girl's skirt whenever you want!"

"You were the one..." Nurse Joy inhaled. "You're allowed to do whatever you wish when there are no guests, as long as you remain at your post and can be called upon at any moment to serve a guest."

"Sweet!" Grunt beamed. "So can I start today or what?"

"Oh, no, we have a lot more to go through before you can start working," Nurse Joy said.

"What?! Do I at least get paid? I gotta get paid! I've got kids to take care of!"

"You don't have kids," Nurse Joy said flatly.

"Okay, true. But if I did, you'd have to pay me!"

Nurse Joy regarded her for far too long.

"I'll give you one hundred Pokedollars at the end of the day."

"A whole hundred?! I'm gonna be rich!"


End file.
